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my thoughts

My Thoughts

The Nirvana Kiss

My first experience with what I've termed as 'the nirvana kiss' happened with a gentleman that studied and practiced Kama Sutra. He taught me about the art of touch and connecting on a deeper level sexually. As amazing as the touch was, I could never get the kiss out of my mind. The only way I can describe it is a nirvana feeling. Like your soul is trying to penetrate your partners soul...through your finger tips, body, and mouth. I've only experienced that feeling with a small handful, though have had fleeting moments with many. I've tried to understand this experience both physically, emotionally and spiritually...so I could not only describe it, but maybe even be able to teach others.

We all like to think we're great kissers, and of course we all are to those that enjoy the same style...as it is very subjective. The nirvana kiss isn't subjective, as to reach that level of intense feeling, there are specific techniques that must be carried through.

To begin, your mind has to be clear of all things before and beyond the moment...complete focus on the person before you. Both bodies need to be softly yet completely molded into each other, arms wrapped around to feel the contours of your partner. The embrace can't be too light or too passionate, you must feel the others need but not so much that it over powers your ability to feel the energy from their body shaped against you and beneath your finger tips.

The kiss is open and your lips are softly covering your partners entire lips, completely formed together as one lip. The tongues are relaxed and gently caressing each other inside the mouth. There is slight passion and pressure but not too much, as you want that feeling of needing more from the other person. It's actually that feeling of needing more that makes you feel like your getting deeper and deeper inside their soul. That's when the feeling of nirvana comes over you...like you could do this forever, and if you just stayed in that state long enough you'd be able to penetrate their inner core. You actually never do, but the incredible feeling is when you get close but just not quite close enough. It's the intense need to be inside this person that gives the emotionally deep amazing pleasure...nirvana.

Tribute to the Mature Gentleman

I often get asked the question, what is it about older men that attracts you so? My short answer is always, though I'm very much aware of my profession, being left to feel like a whore is not modeled in the mature gentleman's paradigm. The long answer is much more deep in thought. Men in a certain age bracket have the innate ability to make a woman feel like she is so much more than what she does.

It's the little things. For example, they research you wanting to know every little tidbit...basically you're on their radar long before contact. They want passion, excitement, affection...and they want to kiss. After all is said and done, they hold you, caress you, know you. These men have experienced life in a way that no woman will surprise them. There's no beauty, position, technique or skill set that they probably haven't experienced through the years.

Have done it all...or mostly. So they come with the attitude of wanting more than just the pleasures of the body. They want the pleasures of the mind & soul...to connect. Connect in a way that for that moment, it means something more. After all, we are just lights of energy bumping around on this earth looking to connect with others...finding meaning. There are no illusions with me, I know what I do...but in that moment can there not be delusion? I can't give more than 'the time spent', but I can give ALL of myself during that time spent. The mature gentleman appreciates that, and I am always humbled for that appreciation.

For these reasons I raise my glass...and salute you!

Aphrodite poem

I have no bonds or boundaries;
I love whom I choose and when I want.
I'm free in my love; I am in bliss.
In my senses I rejoice.
You do not choose me.
I'm moved to ecstasy when I love;
when I mate I become one.
I know how.
I give myself over and over and over again
to the glory that is love in the moment.
I have no fear of losing myself.
Oh, there is the secret:
to give oneself and keep oneself intact.
That is my bliss, my mortal, divine bliss.
I know who I am.
I smile. Can you see
My secret smile?
To whom do I belong?
I belong to me.

~ by Agapi Stassinopoulos

Review - Memoir of an Escort

The water felt warm and silky as I thoroughly move the oil scented wash cloth over my body from my toes up to the nape of my neck...careful not to miss an inch. I lie back and look over at the time, it's half past...plenty of time. What if he's early this morning? Maybe I should get out now and let the water and oils absorb into my skin. He loves my skin...to touch and caress it...smell it. Yes, I want to be ready early just in case.

As I'm getting ready I think about the last time I was with 'John'. He's quite handsome actually...very distinguished look. I love that feeling when I first open the door and the look on his face when he see's me. It makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Five min to....I'm so excited, I just sit on the sofa watching the door, listening to Nora Jones bellowing out from the bedroom, and wait for his text. Ding, ding! There it is...one minute to. Yes!!! I text my room number, and two minutes later there's a tap at the door. Opening the door (my favorite moment) there he is. I feel his eyes go over my face and then slowly down my body. I swear it feels like his eyes are actually touching me it's so intense. I'm wearing a see-through pink Teddy, with my breast over flowing like soft pillows at the top. He loves my choice and admiringly let's me know. I can't take it anymore and need to feel his lips.

As I melt into him his cool hands move over my warm body...over my curves. His lips are soft and his tongue tastes sweet. I need to get closer...deeper. My body is crushed into him, his hands feel like there everywhere. Our kiss is intense, like we're so thirsty and we can't quite quench it. I need more...I need to feel his skin against me...but I can't stop to strip him. Such torture. Finally we both move to the bedroom and somehow he was naked...we're both naked. I lay there on my back watching him as he gently lowers himself on top of me. Yes!!!! I feel every inch of him against my body...almost crushing, but wonderful. It's the kiss that's killing me, tortured pleasure I call it. It's arousing me to a point where I can't stand it, yet can't stop it either. His fingers are teasing my kitty, gently tickling the lips.

Using my own moisture to softly glide over it's contours. His lips tear away from me...noooooooooo! Please don't! Come back! But he doesn't listen and feel his mouth cover my nipple, tongue rolling over it's hardness. Oh God! My kitty is starting to ache. He senses this after time and moves his mouth down between my legs. The warmth and softness of his tongue and lips feel magnificent...stirring my arousal. I stop him, not yet. I want to enjoy this pleasurably tortured state longer. He comes back to me and our bodies entwine, feeling his hardness so close to me...so tempting. I must torture him now. Pushing him over onto his back, I sit up and gaze at how hard he has become. I look in his eyes and say my turn to torment you. Moving myself between his legs, I lower my face to feel his hard cock against my cheek. Softly caressing it with my lips and stopping at the head of his helmet. I look up at him watching me, and give him that naughty grin. He knows what is about to happen, and is speechless...I swear sometimes he must want to just take my head and shove himself down my throat and choke me with it! My lips go over his head just covering the underside if his helmet, with my tongue lapping at the front face of his little head.

I hear him moan and look up...he's still looking at me intensely. Slowly I lower my lips down his shaft, allowing my tongue to wiggle all the way down to his root. Feeling the roundness of his head at the back of my throat, I allow my throat to squeeze down on him. With slight motions allowing the head to go in and out of my throat as my tongue massages his shaft. He's close, I want to taste him so bad, but I don't want it be over. I stop just in time....don't move, don't breath. Yes, he's in control again. I move back up his shaft to the head and look up at him. Are you okay? That was very close. Time for me to take what I want...just in case. I can always return to his delicious member if he lasts. I slide my body up over him until my lips find his. Yes....home again! Hmmmmm! Sorry, was just remembering. Anyway, time for the condom. I stand straddled over his body and look down, my 5 inch heals are still on...that's okay, they'll give me more length as I slide up and down him. His cock is hard and erect like a steal pipe with my kitty the magnet. Asian cowgirl style I slowly lower my warm wet tightness over him, stopping at just the head and giving it a few pulsating squeezes. Down I go right to the base, I hear an oh god from him...god can't save you now 'John', you're mine.

I decide to start pounding him, my long lips wrapped around his shaft as we both watch it go in and out...my wetness all over him. Enough, I need to climax, and need it badly. I grab my toy, lean back and position myself so I can feel his head rubbing against my g-spot. I tell him to just keep hitting right there and don't stop. I put the vibrator against my clit while feeling the pressure of his cock on my love spot inside. Mmmmm.......oh yes, it's building. My legs flex...my stomach tightens...my hands are grabbing my toy so hard my knuckles are white. I'm looking at him, but I don't even see him. I don't know who he is...he could be Santa Claus for all I care. Don't stop! Don't stop! It's coming! Your right on it....don't you fucking stop!! I can feel the spasms starting deep, I think it's starting from my uterus, not sure. My clit is spasming and here it comes...my g-spot! The more he hits it the more it goes. Oh my god! Oh god! Oh fuck! God dammit! Geezuz! I throw my toy on the floor, and myself on top of him.

My hands are shaking and he covers them with his. Rest he says! No, I'm fine....let me take care of you. Too late he said, it was over for me after the second OMG. lol!!! We lay there for a while talking and laughing...telling each other stories. Then it's time for him to leave. Always a sad moment. Not knowing for sure when the next time will be, or even if there will be one. We kiss good bye, and he tells me to be careful....always am I tell him...and then he's gone. The bed looks so inviting, maybe I have time for nap. Crawling between the sheets, my last thought before I slumber off...my god there are moments when I truly love what I do.

**Although 'John' is a fictitious name, he's a combination in my memory of true events ;-)

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